Interrupting.

I often find myself being interrupted. Dreams, conversations, creative thoughts. And it drives me crazy! when I want to finish something and can't. For example, when I get inspired and I get all of these ideas and things that I can do and create. I feel like I just need to get it all out of me immediately or else I will forget and lose some key detail. But a lot of the time I get interrupted. With life. The fact is I have responsibilities that need to be taken care of before I can spend time on the things that I would rather be doing. I'm in school. I have a job and I need to work as much as I can to be able to pay for the things I need.

And right now, I feel guilty writing this post because I should be clocking in and getting to work. But I really want to post something new...

I try not to interrupt people when they are talking because I know what it feels like and how frustrating it can be to want to finish something so badly and not be able to. Now I know that sometimes it's not that big of a deal to interrupt. Especially if the interrupting is mutual. But usually, I just like to sit back and listen to whatever it is that the speaker is saying. I love listening. To me, it (hopefully) shows that I care about you and what you are saying. It allows the speaker to get out everything that they want to say and to form their complete idea or story.

A goal for this summer is to manage my time in a way that I can still work a lot and get everything done that I need, play a lot with friends and family, and still have plenty of time to get all of the lovely, creative baby-ideas out of me and see them develop and grow. And I don't want to let myself be interrupted by anything that will waste my time.


My watercolor teacher, bless her, gave me some really great advice the other day during a review of my paintings. A lot of them weren't very good and she got a little frustrated with me because the reason they weren't good. I am not very confident. And when I get nervous or scared about doing something, I usually wimp out and try to do what other people are doing. In my classes, I try and use the same styles as others so that my work will look as good as theirs. And then my personal touch gets totally lost and it still ends up looking bad. And she could definitely tell.
Sometimes I use the cop-out that I'm a ceramicist. I've never taken a drawing/painting class... Wait until I get to take a ceramics class, then I'll be able to make things that will show I deserve to be an art major... Jeannie, my teacher, said yes, that may be right, but you already got into the program, you already deserve to be here. All you have to do is put yourself into it. Enjoy it. Enjoy everything! And remember what you've learned and use it in things that you will go on to do. Incorporate anything and everything into what you make. And do things the way you like. She said I'm not very good at painting or drawing analytically. (Which is really true.) I like things to be loose. But she said the way I draw/paint is good, I just have to keep doing it and hopefully bring it to the necessary level that will make it good. And that is what I have to remember. I just have to do what I like and explore and find new things and that is when I will grow and progress.

I'm sorry this post turned into a weird, personal pep talk. But really, I think these ideas can and should be applied to any aspect of life. Because that is why we're here, right? To find things out for ourselves. And know and do things independently from other people. We need to get to a point where we aren't relying completely on other people for answers or ideas.

I hope this post sounds optimistic. Because, that is how I'm feeling right now, and I'm sorry if I can't write in a way to express that fully. I'm excited to see what is going to happen and how I'm going to change.




"Breakfast in the Loggia" by John Singer Sargent
I think this painting is really inspiring. I love the lighting and the atmosphere and everything! And I love this quote about Sargent:

"To live with Sargent's watercolors is to live with sunshine captured and held, with the luster of a bright and legible world, 'the refluent shade' and 'the Ambient ardors of the noon.'" -Evan Charteris